The Great Disturbance

Sometimes you have to be okay with being disturbed…. That was the line that ran through my spirit during my nightly meditation and prayer time. A reminder from a recent phone conversation with a friend where I expressed my disappointment at the current state of affairs my life had become. It was as if the phrase was a scratched LP and the needle had gotten stuck, and the phrase “…sometimes you have to be okay with being disturbed..” kept ringing in my head even as I laid down to rest.

As quiet as its kept I become extremely uncomfortable when I don’t know what to do or what direction to take. I tried everything that used to work for me that would settle my spirit, prayer, worship, affirmations, singing, yoga, meditation, eating foods that had no place in my diet, blowing up my prayer partners phone, and yet the relative sense of unease remained.

Not too long ago I lost my job. I was totally unprepared and had previously been filled with hope and expectation about a bright future. You see, I have been trying to get established for what feels like a very long time. I have always felt like being about one’s business is the best form of sex appeal.  The new job that I moved all the way out to Washington State to take was in many ways a lifeline for me. I still remember getting the phone call at work and how thrilled my family members and friends were.  News in my family travels like the auntie at the family reunion who has had a little too much to drink.

I was tired of the mundane routine that my life had become. I found myself simply going to work, the grocery store and back home again each and every week, and how many times can you take a different route home before you truly have seen all the scenery and endured all the traffic and road rage you can fathom!

I didn’t know it then but that nagging sense of wanting to do something different, that inner kneading to really pursue my passions, dreams and goals; things I should have been more aggressive about pursuing, was about to invite the great disturbance into my life in a very big way. Something that would shake me out of apathy into action, from fear to faith, and from self pity to quiet strength and dignity.

When I lost my job, there were day’s where I didn’t get out of the bed. I didn’t check social media, answer my phone, eat or even go to the gym. I felt utterly hopeless and disturbed! Each night I would search for answers, wondering what might have happened if I had done things differently. How do I pick up the pieces? How do I move forward? What do you do, when you don’t know what to do? As spiritual as I am, I didn’t have an answer.   I still really don’t have any answers about what’s next for my life.

This I know for sure, sometimes you have to be okay with being disturbed…. That line echo’s in my spirit even louder now  as I prepare to drive back to North Carolina and regroup. We humans fight chaos, disorder and all feelings of unease, sadness, and disappointment as if feeling them and acknowledging them means we are somehow weak, rather than human.

Sometimes you have to be okay with being disturbed, and sometimes in order to change your life you must invite the great disturbance. Those prayers you prayed for things to get better, for doors to open, for favor to find you (church speak), for the right opportunity to come along? You know those day’s where you found yourself daydreaming about what it was you really wanted to do with your life.  Those quiet moments where your dreams, goals and aspirations speak to you in the middle of the night from a place of confidence rather than fear and you wake up determined to somehow make them a reality! That vision board sitting in the corner of your room that hasn’t seen anything new added since your stale new year’s resolutions that were broken January 2nd!   What you are doing, or rather what your spirit is doing is inviting the great disturbance.

Sometimes you have to be okay with being disturbed…. It just might be the pathway to a wonderful life but you’ll never know until you become okay with being disturbed!

The Sojourn VS. The Destination

Beloved, It’s really not about where you are, where you have been or even where you are going presently! It’s really all about how you handle your process on the way to your intended destination!


Letters To My Beloved Series

They May Never Know


They may never respect your goals, dreams, or aspirations; pursue them anyway.

They may never respect your tears, release them anyway.

They may never respect your friendship, be genuine anyway.

They may never respect the value of connection, consistency and commitment.

They may never know who hurt you.

They may never know who made you cry.

They may never know why you have walls up.

They may never understand your disappointments.

They may never understand your fears.

They may never understand the price you paid to be where you are at this precise moment in your life.

They may never seek to know your process or respect your journey, walk forward anyway.

They simply may never know.

They will see who you choose to become.

It’s A New Day!

SNAPSHOT_20110901_11 I have always heard that our life was a book full of blank pages waiting to be written on. If that is the case, we better get to writing instead of complaining. We all know that God can rewrite our life’s story line, many times he redirects our steps until we are in his will and in his love and grace for us, he allows even our mistakes or missteps to work out for our good. Alas, it’s true that what’s done is done and God won’t change the past. However, He has promised to forgive each of us for our past. What I love about God is not only does he forgive us for our past, but he promises to cast each of our sins into the sea of forgetfulness and then he goes a step further. God then changes our view/ perception of how we see ourselves and our past. It is my prayer that God gives you his eyes as you embark on moving forward. It is my prayer that God reveal how he has woven themes of redemption and blessing throughout the times and season of your lives, when things looked hopeless. God also changes how our past affects us. Once this happens our past no longer has rule over us, the sting is gone, even though the memory survives forever. Through his power and love God can free you from the bondage of wrong habits and past mistakes. If you have not decided to make a new beginning, the time is now. The pages of our lives may have been partially written, but that is the past. Our future has a whole new set of fresh pages waiting to be filled. Thankfully, we do not write on the pages of our lives by ourselves, God is our ever present help. Ready… Set, Begin!

True Healing

Healing comes from total surrender. You cannot heal yourself by a strong will to survive or by working a “program”. You are healed by surrendering everything in your life past, present and future to the will of God, then receiving healing from him. This can be a fearful thing if you have always managed to avoid dealing directly with God, but there must come a time when you finally want to be free. The only way to be truly free is to strip your old nature of everything it derives power from, tearing down the strongholds YOU have erected, then allow God to spiritually realign your life.

The Perfect Holiday Gift is not on

mary & josephThe holiday season is about many common themes shared by all religions of faith around the world. Many emphasize love, giving,   hope, and a renewed relationship with all that is divine and holy, reflecting of the state of humanity. I am a Man of Faith, and I follow the Christian tradition and I could not begin to imagine what the holidays would be like without the undertones of religious faith. I have found in my studies that almost all world faiths have common stories about the creation and their path to enlightenment or transformation. In all of the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it seems as if the true meaning of Christmas is lost in the fray.

226653_198435573524831_100000751704409_454896_7295406_nI often wonder what it must have felt like for Mary, a young mother and Joseph her betrothed to undertake a journey to Bethlehem in obedience with the Roman Census decree only to find that there is no available lodging. How infuriating that must have been! Mary is pregnant with what truly is a promise, a possibility, a vision but it is a living breathing thing that is unfulfilled potential and passion because it has not been birthed.

How many of us have stepped out on faith on what we thought was our purpose only to encounter a stumbling block?

The Hebrew Bible does not tell us much about the trip to Bethlehem, but we know that Mary and Joseph found no lodging available when they arrived. Most of us like to know what awaits us at the conclusion of a journey. However when it comes to giving birth to what is inside of us, when it come to attempting to carry out our purpose given to us by the divine, when it comes to stepping out and working on our vision, there are so many unknowns. The process between a promise and a possibility is often fraught with problems.

217298_198435456858176_100000751704409_454895_1648746_nHave you ever gotten so close to seeing a dream realized or a goal fulfilled, only to find yourself still short of your dream, your vision? Did you give up? Often what seems like a denial in our life is just the universe transitioning us behind the scenes, away from the limelight so that we can safely give birth to our destiny. According to the Christian tradition, the stable represents where humanity and divinity meet. It was where the divine had chosen to dwell among men. I wonder how many people walked by that stable, not knowing what was truly inside. I wonder how many people would have been repulsed to have to give birth in what was considered a lowly place. How many people have walked by you, dismissed you, counted you out because you did not have all of the tools they deemed necessary?And how many did not see you or your worth, failing to realize that there is a wealth of treasure hidden in the most unlikely places!

Our religious world faiths and texts often reveal what is overlooked, the personal treasure, the gifts, the talents, and the ideas so many  people have inside. You can rest assured that people will be sent your way to assure you and reaffirm to you that which the divine has placed inside of you.

This Holiday Season I challenge you to take your focus off the outside world and look within. Find the hidden treasure within you, unlock it, cultivate it, protect it, and whatever you do, do not give up on it. You are going to need the help of the divine to give birth to it, but you first have to discover it. The journey may be difficult and you may find yourself weary at times, but I promise you the journey will be worthwhile.

This article was written by me & originally posted on:

A Special Thanks To My Dear Friend Demann Crawford, and a special thanks D360 Photography “Bringing Visions To Life”!  D360 Photography has undoubtedly been an enhancement to the character and vision of this post. You can find Demann at the following sites: ,, &

Stepping Stones!

You must choose to allow hurt and pain from people in your life. I walk away from anything or anyone in my life that seems to be against my good… It is a choice and it is yours for the making.

Use each experience as a lesson.

bolton_abbey_steppingstonesA lesson to learn from, and grow. Use it as a stepping-stone in moving forward. I have found that the people and experiences in my life are a mirror image of my thoughts and consciousness.

We have the power to control what manifests in our lives and we control that by the power of our thoughts. You can choose whether to bless, curse or affirm joy and wisdom in the lives you touch and impact.

Our friends, relationships, and the environments we foster are all attributes (extensions) of our thoughts and values of self; “For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 27:19)